American Idol, With Less Adam Lambert and more Mob Hits!

Aaahhh American Idol. I have missed you in the months since you've left. Just when I was just about ready to give up from despair at your absence, you returned! How do you plan to top the amazing awfulness that was Adam Lambert? We shall soon see...Joining me on this wonderful journey will be two of my siblings-My brother Zach who I'll refer to as fooogooo, and Katie who will be referred to as the girl wonder

Well so far, you've failed. An Adam Lambert montage? Really? When will you get it that no one likes him?
Recapping the whole Pauler ordeal, tell us something didn't know.
And according Frodo (aka Ryan Seacrest) it is once again the most talented season ever.
And we can expect some more sob stories, and apparently we can also see some deep southern rednecks! I thought auditions were in Boston, not South Carolina?

Auditions begin, and one song is already ruined for me. Goodbye "Boston" by Agustana.
posh is on american idol!!!!!! wahhhhhhhhhh!!!!
She looks like anorexic and she looks like she's wearing a wig. Should be funny.

First up is a crazy woman with serious muffin top who says she's been playing the American Idol video game non-stop. And I'm also guessing she lives in her parents basement, fantasizing about Chris Daughtry. And then she started singing "Pocket Full of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield. Holy crap, if this woman somehow makes it, she'll have my vote for forever. She keeps calling Kara, Paula which really indicative of the public opinion of her. We would rather a drugged
Paula who we can mock mercilessly than Kara who hasn't written a decent song. ever. Sadly, muffin top woman doesn't make it through and goes to talk to Frodo about her woes.

Next up is Maddy, who has 4 brothers with down syndrome. Knowing Idol, they'll probably milk that sob story for all it's worth. She then proceeds to make me hate her by ruining another of my favorite songs "Hallelujah" by Lenard Cohen. She's not bad, but she is incredibly boring. They send her on, she talks to Frodo and "Lovers in Japan" is now ruined as well.
THE GIRL WONDER: I think that if Gandalf were here he would be crying tears of wool!!

After, we have my new favorite, Pat. He's the most awesome thing since sliced bread and he keeps saying "Holla!" He sings "Womanizer" by Britney Spears and makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside because he's so amazingly awful. Randy told him to never sing again, but if he stops singing, does that mean that he and Kara can stop talking? They should have just let him
through anyway, I would have voted for him until my fingers bled.
THE GIRL WONDER: THE GIRL OF WONDER APPROVES!!!!! (p.s. he has an awesome accent!)

Montage of boring people who didn't warrant the full 30 seconds of face time. Frodo says that only girls have gotten through, Kara is not pleased.

And now we have, Amedeo who just has to make it through. It wouldn't surprise me if he was hiding the don of the mafia in his basement. He decides to sing "Hoochie Coochie Man" by Muddy Waters who, upon learning that his song was now mentioned in the same breath as American Idol, vomited in his grave. Judges like him, he's through. I can't help but wonder if they didn't send him through, if his cousin Vinny might have to make them "an offer they can't refuse" Oh well, he should be very funny to watch.
THE GIRL WONDER: well first italians have very good pizza and he had an awesome POTATO!!! voice

After Amedeo, we have Derrick. Someone should do a good deed and show Derrick how to wash his hair, because he obviously hasn't in a while. He sings "Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word" in the most annoying voice known to man. My dog started randomly ramming his head into the wall it was so bad. Which means that I really wished he would have gone through for his comedic value.

Montage of failures, including a man in a Yankees jersey. Brave stuff in Boston.

Then we have Mary, who is AWESOME. She's a Japanese Anime freak with a cape who apparently designs kimonos. She sings "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin and is awful but I love her. She's shocked when they tell her she's awful and she says that her voice coaches told her that she was good, but then goes on to say she's had a total of 2 voice coaches in her lifetime. Of course she's sent packing, and we're back to boring.
THE GIRL WONDER: well first I love her cape and her kimonos are probably awesome!!! she should have seriously gone on!!

Next we have another montage, hot guy with a hat goes on, his friend who sings the Beatles not well goes on (despite my suggestion he be executed)

Then there's Andrew who I also love deeply. He pisses off everyone right off the bat, but amazingly they let him sing. He chooses "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals and I actually kind of liked it. But Kara just starts PMSing and hates him for no apparent reason. Simon, being awesome votes yes, but Kara just made the public hate her more and he was sent home.
THE GIRL WONDER: well he was... how do I put it.. weird and thats all I have cause that's just the only word that describes him

Then another montage, this time of college students. Thus introducing us to the next contestant Ashley.

Ashley studies at the Berkley Institute of Music, and she's just like a million other people who try out for this stupid show. She sings "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys and I thought she was boring. I'm so sick of that song that if I never hear it again it will be too soon. She gets sent through.
THE GIRL WONDER: I LOVE HER SHOES!!! she had a good voice too

Then we have possibly my favorite audition-Tyler. He says he's a drummer and that he broke both of his wrists because he fell out of a tree. He's dressed like a 1970's throwback, and his hair is reminiscent of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. He sings "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye and he actually sounds quite good. The judges liked him and said he reminded them of legendary Jim Morrison.
THE GIRL WONDER: his wrists are very broken and he has fuzzy hair

Next day begins, and American Idol feels it necessary to teach us about the history of Boston. Yawn. It's a lot funnier to see Idol try to be funny then actually be funny.

Then we have Lisa, who I'm guessing is going to be a whole lot of crazy fun to watch. She decides to sing "Vision of Love" by Mariah Carey who I hate anyway so, yea. She hits terrible high notes and they say no. Well she was a letdown and I was especially tempted to vomit at the slow motion of her butt. NEXT PLEASE.

Failure montage.

Next we have Mike, who is kind of easy on the eyes. But what about his singing? Somewhere Kris Allen is twitching with fury. He decided to sing "Yesterday" by the Beatles and I fail to understand why people are feeling the need to butcher the Beatles today. What did the Beatles ever do to them!? He goes on despite my hatred of him.
THE GIRL WONDER: what did the beatles ever do to him I mean he totally ruined it

After Mike we have Katie, who has an inspirational story to tell. Spare us please? Okay no, she won't. Her grandma is going to forget her soon, and so am I. She sings "At Last" by Ella Fitzgerald just as everyone must. Judges like her, I'll probably forget about her tomorrow. Frodo starts to cry too.

Then comes Joshua, who according to Frodo is too old and this is his last shot. He sings "God Blessed the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. He's too Kris Allen for my taste, and the judges attempt to get him to be more mean. Yawn, just send him on already.
Finally. Too bad he was so freaking boring.
THE GIRL WONDER: I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!! HE IS THE WORST PERSON EVER!!! I LOVE THAT SONG AND HE JUST GOES AND RUINS IT I HATE HIM!!!

Another failure montage

Then comes Justin. Ooohh boy is he pretty. He's got a sob story as well, but got to give the dude props. Did I mention he's pretty? Nice voice too. I could go for this. Kara looks like she wants to tackle him and she's drooling uncontrollably. I'll bet she remembers him ;D
He goes through and the judges predict the female population will like him. I'd put my money on that.
THE GIRL WONDER: he really is nice I liked his voice a lot and he his story made me cry a little either that or dust got in my eye

Then there's crazy dude who sings Cascada and I really wished he would have gotten through.

*Sigh.* another sob story. Guy with Nigerian parents. Name is Bossa. Didn't catch what he was singing, pretty generic.
He gets through, I'm bored and I'm really thinking that they could have gotten through all this without having it be two hours.

Then we have Leah who thank goodness is the last one. She says she's got crazy protective parents and she's already crying. Save us now please? Her voice is all right, but she kind of bores me. She just reminds me of Megan Joy. I need Paula's drunken funny comments to keep me awake!

And that is all for the first day of Idol season 9. The Girl Wonder and I are pleased to have shared it with you and hope you lived through this crap fest.

SNL, The good, the bad, the Barkley.

SNL is normally pretty funny stuff. They've had some of the greatest comedy sketches since Monty Python ended. However, in recent times, it has struggled somewhat to be funny. They've had some really funny hosts who amused me deeply, but they seem to have a really hard time making athletes be funny. Case in point being the most recent episode which was hosted by Charles Barkley. That episode was not funny at all. It did have some moments that made me chuckle, but those were sketches that he wasn't involved in. There was one at a ski resort that I thought was terrible.
However, they have had some athletes that border on funny, and some that are born comedians.
Peyton Manning for instance, has great comedic timing and made me laugh until my face fell off. Watch this video for a perfect example.
Lebron James was sort of funny, and I did love the high school musical spoof that he did.
Tom Brady I'm convinced doesn't have a comedic bone in his body, but he still managed to be more amusing than Barkley.

I think that in general SNL could be helped by some fresh writing, but they'll just have to wait for me I suppose ;D
And one more thing, I really wouldn't recommend having Sigourney Weaver host when your fishing for ratings. Just a thought.

I Seem To Be Struck By You...

Hello everyone! Happy Holidays to you all! My Christmas gift to you all is number 4 of the 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE

#4-TOM STURRIDGE
Tom Sturridge is a British actor that more people really should know about. He most recently starred in the awesome film that I did not get to see-The Boat that Rocked.























He's also part of the "Brit Pack" which includes Robert Pattinson, but we're going to ignore that fact for now.






















Sturridge is a double threat as he has both a British accent and pretty, pretty blue eyes.


























If I were to date Tom Sturridge...I would first tell him to not bring Robert Pattinson along. Then we would go to an underground London club and hear some great music. After we would go grab a bite to eat. I would wear something like this...
























I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday season and I wish you all a Happy New Year!!

I'm Moving to Canada!

Hello all! I hope your having a fantastic Friday! I believe it's time I continued with the 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE, I owe it to you to show you the next man I have prepared for you. (it's Friday, we deserve good stuff.)

#3. LUKE SCHENN





















I don't know much about Luke Schenn, but what I do know is that he is HOT. And he's Canadian which explains the title of this post. All of the hot boys are Canadian, so I'm metaphorically moving to Canada.
















As for the hockey stuff, he was drafted by the Toronto Maple Leaves in 2008 and now I don't hate the maple leaves as much anymore!! He's also a defense man which explains a lot because it is my opinion that they are the hottest of the hockey players.






















Now, if I were to date Luke Schenn, It would probably be...I have no idea because I am so distracted by his adorable hotness. I think I'm in love.















I hope you've enjoyed this installment of THE 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE. I know I did. *Spasm*

You Can Sit Beside Me When the World Comes Down

Bleg. It is no fun being home sick. I got like two hours of sleep last night, but luckily I took a nap and now I feel better. Today I'm going to continue the 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE! with
#2-RYAN GOSLING






















Ryan Gosling is best known for his role in the uber sappy romantic movie "The Notebook" With the help of my dearest aunt Mandi, I know him for his band (who I highly advocate listening to) Dead Man's Bones.




















Gosling also has a regular gig deejaying at the club The Bardot. I personally think that's the most awesome thing I guy could tell me he did for fun, and from what I've read he seems to have really good taste in music.

























If I were to go on a date with Ryan Gosling, it would probably be live music. We would either go and see a classic like Paul McCartney, or I would go and see his band in concert.




















On said fictional date, I would probably wear something like this-
























Thank you for playing THE 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE! tune in soon for #3!

It's Friday, I'm In Love!

So, I have decided to introduce a new feature here to the old blog that I thought might be fun, I call it 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE which is just basically an excuse for me to ramble on about hot guys 50 different times. Let it begin!!

#1. EVAN LONGORIA


























Evan Longoria is the incredibly attractive third baseman for the Tampa Bay Rays. I first noticed him when I was flipping through channels and saw he was an an episode of ESPN's show E:60. He is not related to Eva Longoria in any way (no matter how much Boston fans chant it). As long as he stays away from Ed Hardy clothing Evan is one fine specimen of baseball player.






















When your looking through your closet and you see your Ed Hardy T-shirt hanging there, do us all a favor and don't do it. Do you really want to wear clothing that has been associated with Jon Gosselin ever?

If I were to go on a date with Evan Longoria...
It would probably be very low key because although I know little, I imagine those are the funnest kind of dates.
It would be after he got done with practice.
















We would go somewhere low key and grab a bite to eat, before we went to the movies. We would go and see "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" because we're funny and hip like that.










(He's so cute when he's happy!!)

I would wear something like this:



























Thank you for playing 50 CELEBRITY DATES CHALLENGE! Keep checking back for more!

This is Radio Clash, Consider YOUR position!

Welcome to the second installment of

PEOPLE YOU NEED KNOW ABOUT

The second person you need know about is Joe Strummer.

Best known as the front man of legendary punk band The Clash, Joe was able to expand the horizons of punk rock to include other genres like reggae and ska along with many other things.

NOTABLE STRUMMER SONGS:
White Riot

London's Burning
English Civil War
White Man in the Hammersmith Pallais
Janie Jones
Lost in the Supermarket
Jimmy Jazz
Rudie Can't Fail
Clash City Rockers
and my personal favorite:
Clampdown

Joe Strummer's given name was actually John Graham Mellor, but he also went by the name Woody (in honor of everybody's inspiration Woody Guthrie) before he ever came to his iconic stage name. His musical inspiration was diverse, ranging from The Ramones (who influenced about every punk act that ever existed) to The Rolling Stones. It was R&B however, that would ultimately captivate Strummer, leading him to form the 101'ers. The line up would consist of:
Clive Timperley
Martin Stone
Dan Kelleher
Richard Dudanski
Simon Cassell
Alvaro Peña-Rojas
Antonio Narvaez
Julian Yewdall
Tymon Dogg
Marwood Chesterton aka " Mole"
Patrick Nother

The 101'ers would be short lived however as the Clash would be formed 1976. The Clash quickly gained fame, known for their seething lyrics and brutal style. As the main lyricist of the band, Strummer combined with Mick Jones (Who will probably be coming up in another edition) to create some of the most well known and thought provoking songs of all time.

Strummer is ultimately known for his socially aware lyrics that dealt with touchy subjects such as racism, world events, and more importantly, boredom. Using this, Strummer was able to get a bored and angry England to stop and think about the world around them. He was willing to write about things that other acts wouldn't touch with a 10 foot poll.

His trademark instrument? a battered 1966 fender telecaster that might just possibly be the most awesome thing I have ever seen. (the guitar on the left for anyone who's wondering)

Joe Strummer was an amazing man, who's name isn't mentioned enough with legendary performers and inspirational people in general.

Come back soon for the third installment of
PEOPLE YOU NEED KNOW ABOUT